Thursday's Unique Picks - All Broken Up

Common questions you may be asked while at the post office:
How are you today? Fine.
Do you need stamps? Not today.
Is there anything fragile, perishable, liquid or hazardous in this package? No.
Do you need tracking or insurance on this? No thank you.
Did you used to be a ballerina? Silence.
Oh so sweet vintage ballerina candle holders from Before He Find Out's etsy shop.
Other than this question being extremely random and slightly awkward...it couldn't be further from the truth.
The post man said I had that "look". O.k I better stop wearing that tutu to the post office. hahahaha. 
Is he joking?
As much as I wanted to hang around the post office and explain to him why this was a ridiculous assumption do to my chronic clumsiness, I decided to just leave it, say "Thank You" and sashay myself out of the post office.
Do you like red bull? I don't need extra caffeine to do stupid stuff faster. I prefer this vintage ceramic orange bull  masterpiece found in Vintage Eye's etsy shop.
In reality, this is a more accurate visual of this girly. A bull in a china shop.
I have a long history of slips, spills, trips, falls, concussions...I am an overall klutz. 
So this week I am celebrating the clumsy through these great finds from etsy sellers.
Just tell it like it is to the klutz in your life, with this great letterpress greeting card from Creativity Cards on etsy.
While around your favorite klutz it is important to have a disaster kit on hand.
1960's first aid disaster kit complete with original contents from Small 'n Simple Things on etsy.
Don't forget the protective gear.
An adorable protective handmade snuggly skin for the phone of the accident prone from  Case Phile on etsy.
Outfit your klutz with a helmet. So this isn't really a helmet...it is actually a great antique colander from  French Melody's etsy shop, but it would get the job done and could also drain pasta.
Bring towels, because there are bound to be spills around your favorite klutz...
Freshly over dyed vintage embroidered dish towel from Vintage Dyetopia's etsy shop.
To prevent the inevitable spills though, you could try...
A goblet for the clumsy girl. Now this fantastic goblet from Kiefer Clayworks is designed especially with a shorter stem to help prevent spills (for those of us who tend to kick over a glass of wine every now and again). 
Now this leads me into my personal klutzy triumph from last Saturday evening. 
Your ballerina in action, if you will.
Handmade post earrings by foundling's etsy shop.
I was quietly making dinner...the lasagna was baking...I decided to have a nice glass of wine. Mmmm, that was tasty. I think I would like a refill. Grab the bottle from the refrigerator add a bit more to my glass...
Can you picture what is about to happen next?
Crash. Amazing original photograph captured by Matthew Hurst Photography on etsy.
If only I had just broken the glass...
Somehow between walking from the counter to the refrigerator with the bottle of wine in my hands, I dropped the bottle. The bottle basically shattered when it hit the floor. Wine shot out of the bottle that was located in the kitchen and onto the carpet in the next room. There was glass and wine everywhere in the kitchen. 
Slick.
The Hubby rushed upstairs to see what had happened. With disbelief at the disaster area that I had created, he helped me clean up the mess. 
I should really just carry a sign like this wherever I go. This ornately framed silk doily can be found  in crumbs on the sheets etsy shop.
Was I worried about the glass everywhere? No. 
Was I upset that I was going to have to scrub the floor and carpet in the next room? No. 
I was angry that I waisted an almost full bottle of wine. I was all broken up.
My hubby inquired if I was o.k. I said "Yes, I am just mad at myself for wasting all of that wine," and he replied, "you should be". He can be such a gem.
Wine not show some love to box wine with this original acrylic painting by Carla's Funky Art on etsy.
I am now thinking that this butter finger ballerina should stick to box wine to avoid future disasters.
You know what they say, It takes one to know one...so I guess it takes a clumsy gal to track down some great etsy finds that would be perfect for your favorite klutz.

3 comments:

  1. While no one would ever mistake me for a ballerina (big awkward girls need not apply) I completely relate to the klutz angle..I am world class! I even had to give up wine as the alcohol exacerbated the clumsiness! ;) Fab post, Doll...truly fab! :)

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  2. This is so funny!
    What a fabulous collection...!
    I love the "helmet"....
    Fabulous!

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  3. Thanks! This gave me so many laughs today - I'm sorry they're all at your expense though!

    I strongly suggest you stick to the boxed wine and plastic cups!

    I think if someone ever asked me if I was a ballerina I'd reach over and kiss them!

    Hope you have a great weekend!


    Lisa

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