Really, this is a very silly question…
Great original illustrated note cards from smackinart's etsy shop.
Not a normal fear of clowns or ghosts or even spiders. It is something much more disturbing.
Phobia's aside, these are really terrific finds from etsy sellers and I bet there is very little chance these picks have any intention of harming me.
This handmade pillow cover from Indenyl Designs on etsy is quite spooktacular.
Sure, last Sunday was Halloween, and I know that is supposed to be the spookiest night of the year, but for me, it all started about two weeks before Halloween, when something was going bump in the night…
This phantom-tastic original painting by Marcia Furman, is in her etsy shop, marcia724.
One night I was just dozing off when I heard that bump…or I should say a series of bumps. I tried to wake my hubby to report the noises. Nice try girly, he groggily listened to my report of strange noises above our heads. He got out of bed…woo hoo my hero is going to protect me…um what? He proceeded to stretch out his knees and climb back into bed…I think he may have listened for the phantom noises for about twenty seconds before he rolled over and calmly fell back asleep. Gee thanks. It seriously sounded like someone was walking around on my roof…OK covers over my head and cell phone in hand with my finger positioned over the emergency contact number I eventually drifted off to sleep.
5 a.m. wake up...
"Yeah that's totally an art deco alarm clock", found in forgetmewhatnots etsy shop.
No alarm clock needed in the morning, but there was cause for alarm. Yup this time hubby heard the noises from above too! See I wasn’t making it up. He stood on top of the bed and started pounding on the wall near the ceiling…”damn squirrels” he exclaimed.
The real ones aren't as cute as this vintage squirrel bank from The Vintage Deer's etsy shop.
Fact: For some reason the squirrels in our neighborhood seem to think that our gutters are some sort of a compact apartment suitable for parties.
They have chewed through the gutter guards (to keep leaves out) in the past. They gnaw on any wood surrounding our home including the deck and lovely wood picnic table we have. The squirrels don’t run away when people approach them, they just kind of look at you like ”YOU” are in the way. Some of them are much larger than many of the dogs in our neighborhood.
"Please Feed Me" original photograph from White Wolf Photography on etsy. This one doesn't freak me out, It kind of cracks me up.
Fact: I have Sciurophobia. This is an unusual phobia of squirrels. No lie. If a squirrel gets too close to me, I hyperventilate, my legs become weak, and my heart races...yup, I freak out! I have never been bit by a squirrel, so you may wonder, where on earth did this fear come from?
Fantastic vintage Rocket J. Squirrel (a.k.a Rocky) and Bullwinkle card from Rainbow7765's etsy shop. He doesn't scare me.
I really don’t buy it when people blame their problems on their parents, but when I was little my mom did always tell me that if I got bit by a squirrel, I would get rabies and have to get shots in my belly button. I’m sure she just didn’t want me inviting them into the house, but since then, I have tried to keep my distance from the furry tailed rats. Enough said.
Partying with the squirrels in this adorable appliqued vintage mini skirt from re-Collection Clothing on etsy.
A week or so went by and all day long I would dread going to bed and turning off the light because as the hubby said one night, as I reluctantly switched off the light, “Time for the party to start…”. Haha. But what on earth could the squirrels possibly be doing up there in the gutters??? Here’s a novel idea…let’s remove the gutter guards so maybe the squirrels can find a new party pad. Brilliant. I needed sleep!
Up on the rooftop hubby goes…what did he find?…not Santa, but a hole, and it wasn't the top of our chimney smarty pants.
Why couldn't it have been Santa? This awesome vintage Santa Planter can be found in YBINUCAROL's etsy shop.
OK, so the squirrels were not partying in the gutters or on the roof, but under our roof. Fantastic. He freaked, I tried to stay calm. I explained this was a good thing to find now rather than in a few weeks when it was snowing. So the hole was tarped off, as per the suggestion of a roofer we called, who wouldn’t come out because it would be dangerous for them to do the work if there was an animal in there. No, Really!?!? Who do we call next? Not Ghost Busters…but Critter Control.
"Don't Panic", lovely embroidered tea towel from OrganicAlly on etsy.
As the hubby calmed down about the situation, I started to become more and more alarmed. What if the squirrel decides to claw through the ceiling…What if it figures out how to open the attic access hatch? Every noise I heard was torture…and then Tom arrived. Mr. Critter Catcher. He assured me that he had never heard of an animal clawing through the ceiling. Thanks, but I still feel safest in the basement bathroom. What Mr. Catcher told me after inspecting my attic space (that I have never entered...in the seven years that we have been in our home) was that it wasn't squirrels...try raccoons.
Bandit Raccoon is a fantastic upcycled, handmade plush doll from ViolaStudio on etsy. Well he's cute, and I am pretty sure he won't rip into my roof.
Great…an even bigger beast than a squirrel. Why our attic? It's not like the roof is covered in discarded leftovers...we are not dirty people, maybe a little cluttered and dusty but not gross. I am pretty sure that animals just don't like me.
Oh look...an accurate depiction. This print from an original illustration by Valerie Drake is from her etsy shop, Picture Book Studio.
I don’t know why I wasn’t as freaked out about the raccoon, less scared more annoyed. Those sneaky little critters with a built in masks!
Sneak attack the raccoons with this nifty little felt mask from Seven Feather Tribe on etsy.
I also think it calmed my nerves to know that there were traps placed on my roof to try and capture our night stalker. For those of you that may be concerned for the safety of the little beast, it’s a humane trap that just acts as a little cage so that Mr. Critter Catcher can easily transport the raccoon to a new home. Hopefully in another state.
Vintage "Loony Coon" book about the antics of a rollicking raccoon found in KB Exquisites etsy shop.
This book kind of made me wonder what our "Loony Coon" would have to say about it's two week stay in our little attic...
It is scary how true this little pinback button is, from Baymoon Studio's etsy shop.
It's been two weeks since we last heard the bumps in the night, we now have a roof with two large traps, a hole , some destroyed insulation that needs to be removed, an attic space that has to be decontaminated ( It must have been some rockin party up there) and no raccoon.
Cool, let's get this show on the road because I don't want anymore critters getting any bright ideas about having a Christmas party up there...
"Wild Christmas" original photographic print from Wild Life Prints etsy shop.
So if you hear a bump in the night don't assume...check it out, it may be bigger than a bread box, masked, furrier, quite shifty...and really DIRTY.
I love this, hand embroidered "Messy Raccoons" from What Party's etsy shop.
Sleep tight my friends.